Why ‘Who’ You Marry is the Most Important Decision You’ll Make

Marriage is without a doubt one of the most important, if not THE most important commitments you’ll ever make in life. Who you marry is the most important decision you’ll make! The person you choose to marry will be with you every day, through the highs and lows, joys and challenges. Yet, far too many people take this decision lightly. Perhaps it is overlooking the significance of this choice, or making decisions based on fleeting emotions or external pressure from friends, family, society. If you’re unmarried but hoping to one day marry, I beg you to approach this decision wisely. Do not allow anyone to influence you otherwise – who you marry matters!

But, in an era where divorce rates are near 40%, the counter-argument will be – there’s always a way out, so is it that big a deal anyways?

Yes. It. Is.

Here are some answers to some of the key questions we get from those looking to marry.

Why is choosing the right person to marry so important?

Choosing who you marry is one of the most significant decisions you'll ever make. Your partner will influence your future more than anyone else. A strong marriage brings emotional security, shared goals, and support in life, and innumerous other blessings. However, an incompatible marriage can lead to unhappiness (6 out of 10 marriages cite unhappiness), tension, and even divorce, which can cause lasting emotional and financial damage. Especially when children are involved, the stakes become higher, and the consequences of a broken marriage can extend to them as well. So, it’s crucial to choose wisely and then be confident in your decision.

What should I do if I have doubts about my relationship?

If you're dating and seriously considering marriage, or engaged, and you have any doubts, even a small uncertainty, it's VITAL to pause and reflect. While it may feel difficult to step back or reconsider, it is far better to face those fears now than to endure a lifetime of regret. Trust your instincts; if there’s a nagging doubt, it’s worth exploring those feelings deeply. A decision this critical should be made with full confidence. Rushing into marriage when you’re not 100% sure can lead to misery and, eventually, divorce. And, make no mistake, your marriage will have serious repercussions if you marry the wrong person.

What if I should end an engagement? And how can I handle the fear of ending it?

Ending an engagement can feel terrifying (I can only imagine at least), especially if you’ve already begun planning your future together. It’s natural to be afraid of the emotional pain and the reactions from friends and family. But remember, it’s better to experience short-term pain from calling off an engagement than to endure long-term pain in an unhappy marriage. Fear of ending things should never outweigh the potential consequences of spending your life with someone who isn’t right for you. Incompatible marriages often lead to ongoing frustration, unhappiness, and emotional disconnection.

So, how can I ensure I’m making the right choice?

One of the best ways to gain clarity is through prayer and self-reflection. If you believe in God, asking for guidance can provide the answers you seek. Many times, people avoid seeking clarity out of fear of what they might discover. However, it’s essential to trust in your feelings and your faith. If you ask God sincerely for guidance, He will provide you with the revelation you need. Listen to your inner voice and be open to whatever truth is revealed, no matter how difficult it may be to face.

Marriage is not something to rush into. It is a lifetime commitment that requires deep thought, certainty, and confidence in your partner. If you are unsure, it is better to take a step back and evaluate whether this is truly the right choice for you. Trust your instincts, ask for divine guidance, and never let external pressures push you into making such a significant decision.

Ultimately, who you marry will affect the rest of your life, and ensuring you make the right choice is a vital part of creating a happy, fulfilling future.

But with the right expectations (on yourself and your partner), being realistic about where things are, and what you think of your future with that person, the stress and tension, while very real, can be mitigated. You can find the strength to confidently think through this and make the right decision. In the end who you marry matters!