Marriage & Travel for Work: 5 Proven Tips to Stay Close While You're Away & Strengthen Your Bond!
Marriage & work travel. A match-up deemed to test the will of any of us. If done right, no problem, sure. But the thin line of things going off the rails can knock the wind out of a weary traveler, or spouse back at home.
The work trip. Many of us can relate to the host of feelings associated with it. Perhaps there’s excitement of a new destination, productive meetings, or a decent itinerary with some free time built in. If you work remote – it’s a time to get face-to-face with coworkers and colleagues.
Or perhaps it’s sheer dread. Another few days couped up in a halfway decent Holiday Inn Express, in Chicago, in February. Or a week in a boardroom with two windows and stale sandwiches. A boss who drives you crazier in person than on the phone. There’s a host of emotional reactions to “work travel” and I’ve experienced all of the above I assure you. It’s a thing.
But, on par with the natural first reaction to the trip itself is often the anxiety and tension that comes with the family life aspect of it. Away from family is hard on everyone. The kids either don’t understand, don’t care, or anything in between. The spouse left at home may have a range of feelings too. From feelings of abandonment, perhaps fear in some cases. Dread about the tasks now to-be-managed alone. Or excitement at a few moments alone in the evenings. There is no one-size-fits-all here.
Regardless, in any marriage, maintaining intimacy and closeness is challenging when work demands frequent travel. And, whether you're the one away on business trips or the one holding things down at home, the physical distance doesn’t have to lead to emotional distance. In fact, while it’s hard, with some intentional effort, travel for work can actually become an opportunity to deepen your connection, build trust, and reinforce the bond you share.
Here are five proven tips to help you and your spouse stay close, cultivate trust, and ensure your marriage thrives, even when work takes you away.
1. Set clear expectations up front
Every strong marriage begins with clear expectations. Setting the right expectations will build trust and this starts before the business trip even begins. Both partners should communicate openly about their schedules, making sure that you’re both on the same page regarding availability for check-ins, video calls, or even short texts. It sounds like micro-management I know. But think about it – if you’re the one traveling you probably have one thing in your mind, and I promise you, your spouse has something different in their mind. Merely being open about what you expect the trip to be like, and vice-versa the at-home partner, will ensure you’re on the same page. This openness is crucial for maintaining intimacy even when you're physically apart.
When you know each other’s schedules and expectations for communication, it strengthens your bond and prevents misunderstandings. For example, if a late-night meeting or an unexpected work event comes up, let your spouse know ahead of time so they aren’t left wondering why you didn’t call. Similarly, the partner at home could share their daily commitments, whether it's taking care of the kids or managing household duties.
By being transparent, you're building trust in your marriage and fostering closeness, even when the miles separate you.
2. Be flexible
Even with the best planning, there are curveballs, especially when work is involved. This is where maintaining open lines of communication becomes essential to preserve intimacy and trust. If your plans change, communicate that to your spouse. Perhaps a meeting runs late, or you have an unexpected work dinner—keeping your husband or wife informed shows that their closeness and connection remain a priority, even during busy travel days.
It’s important for both partners to feel involved in each other’s daily lives, even from afar. Sharing updates about what's happening at home or work helps nurture intimacy, as it reinforces that you’re both thinking about each other and staying engaged in the relationship.
This level of consistent communication is key to maintaining trust, and it also serves as a reminder that no matter how far apart you are, your marriage remains strong and central to your lives.
And, extra tip here – prayer is so powerful. Just a note telling your spouse that you’re praying for their meetings that day, or that you’re praying all goes smoothly at home. These things are so meaningful. It’s a way of affirming your spouse that you’re thinking about them.
3. Show respect
Just like in a healthy marriage which thrives on mutual respect and fairness, our treatment of work travel needs this courtesy. Balancing the demands of work and home life requires understanding that both parties have their own set of challenges in their own ways, during the week away. Respecting each other’s schedules and appreciating the effort being put in—whether you're traveling or managing the home front—is critical for maintaining trust and closeness. Not too mention respect in general towards your spouse.
So when that work dinner runs longer than expected, or the kids are too busy to get on a video call, remember that fairness and understanding can prevent frustration from building up. On the flip side, the spouse at home is managing daily life solo, which can be just as stressful. By showing empathy and acknowledging each other's efforts, you nurture your marriage and build up one another despite the missed opportunities.
Respect isn't just about accommodating each other’s work schedules—it’s about acknowledging the unique challenges each of you face and supporting each other without resentment. Work trips will test your relationship, no doubt, but there is no room for unkindness, harsh words, and biting comments towards your spouse. Respect one another.
4. Extend some grace
Not far disconnected from respect and flexibility mentioned above is showing grace to each other. Things will NOT always go according to plan (we’ve covered that) and that’s okay. Trust each other to handle those disruptions with understanding and patience. Cut each other some slack. Period.
Maybe you missed a call because of a surprise work event, or maybe your spouse at home couldn’t answer the phone because they were busy managing the kids. Rather than letting those missed connections cause friction, take a deep breath and remember to offer each other grace. Flexibility is essential for keeping the peace and ensuring that both partners feel supported, especially when things don’t go as expected.
This level of understanding strengthens trust and shows that, despite the bumps in the road, you both value your marriage above all else. Giving each other the benefit of the doubt, especially when plans change, helps to preserve the intimacy you’ve built over time.
Example IRL , I took a trip last month with a 3-hour time zone change. I knew in advance I would be in a conference all day, have an awkwardly-timed break late afternoon, and then a late dinner, etc. And that this would likely repeat each day during the trip. My wife and I discussed it up front and agreed we probably won’t get much time to talk let alone catch the kids between. Over the years, we’ve learned to cut each other some slack. If I call home and they can’t answer – we tried. I don’t take it personally and neither does Jamie. But we try to text a bit throughout the day just to check-in. It works for us. Find what works for you. But you must each show some flexibility and grace while doing your best to not walk back your agreed-upon expectations.
5. Find balance once back home
Often, the problems actually arise once the traveling spouse returns home. One partner is drained from their trip, perhaps jet-lagged and exhausted. The other, has been run ragged with the kids and added duties at home alone. It is what it is, you’re both wiped.
But what happens next is critical. Is it fair that the worn-out traveler immediately gets stuck with the kids, errands, and cleanup the second walking in the door? No.
Is it also fair that the spouse back home with the kids should continue managing everything solo while their partner takes a nap, or goes to bed early, or floats in the pool to decompress after their trip? No.
And that’s the point, work travel is hard on everyone. Or at least it can be. That’s why we need balance. Recognizing each other’s efforts is critical for maintaining trust and fostering closeness. Respecting what your spouse endured (no matter which end you were on) the past few days is what matters. Work trips can be exhausting and tending to the duties of home while balancing a host of other things is as well.
You. Must. Discuss. This. Together.
It’s essential to find balance when you’re back together—share the household duties, both of you get the rest you need when appropriate, BUT take time to reconnect emotionally.
Once you both acclimate back to home life, you can plan a quiet evening for just the two of you, or take a walk together to talk about your week. By finding ways to reconnect, you restore intimacy and strengthen the bond in your marriage, reaffirming that even though work travel creates physical distance, your emotional connection remains strong.
While traveling for work can add challenges to any marriage, it doesn’t have to weaken your connection. By setting clear expectations, maintaining open communication, showing respect and fairness, extending grace, and finding balance when you reunite, you can not only preserve the intimacy in your marriage but also build a deeper level of trust and closeness.
Ultimately, marriage is about being there for each other—whether you're in the same room or on opposite sides of the globe. Use this to guide you in turning the challenge of your next work trip into an opportunity to grow closer.