The Truth About Marriage: Is It Really as Boring as People Say?

There’s a common stereotype that marriage is boring. Assuming you’re married, maybe you’ve even felt this way at times. There’s any number of reasons this stereotype exists, from old-school TV and sitcoms, to the growing trend of adults waiting to get married or avoiding it all together. Or even bleak stats like this. And a whole slew of other examples that may be very personal to each couple or person individually.

But here’s the hard truth: marriage itself is NOT boring—it’s the people themselves that can be boring. We’re all individuals after-all. Does marriage itself create the boredom or do the two adults involved create the boredom? Stereotyping that marriage is boring is about as biased an opinion you can get. It depends on the eye of the beholder. Single happy woman, unhappily divorced man, a grumpy middle-aged couple which dislikes each other. It’s possible these people may all have strong dislike toward marriage.

Ok, but what does this mean for me?  What it means is that If we aren’t careful, we can fall into routines that drain the excitement from our relationships, and a risk of a bored marriage becomes increasingly real.

HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean marriage is destined to be dull.

Starting with the Problem: How Boredom Creeps In

No matter how much you love your spouse, it’s easy to slip into a phase where things feel mundane. Between the toll of work, the demands of the kids, household responsibilities, and life’s daily stressors, marriage can start to feel predictable. The same date nights (if any), the same conversations, the same routine—it’s understandable that even married people may start believing the lie that marriage itself is boring.

But boredom isn’t about marriage as an institution; it’s about what we do (or don’t do) within it. Just like any relationship, marriage requires intentional effort to keep it engaging and fulfilling.

The Truth: Marriage Can Be Exciting, If You Choose to Make It That Way

Think about your friendships. Some people you know are exciting to be around, while others feel dull. The difference isn’t in friendship itself—it’s in who the people are and how they engage with the relationship. The same is true for marriage. The happiest couples aren’t the ones who avoid marriage; it’s the ones who actively work to keep their marriage fun and fulfilling.

In fact, research shows a strong connection between fun and marital happiness. When couples engage in enjoyable activities together, their connection strengthens, their stress decreases, and their overall satisfaction in marriage increases. “It’s not marriage that makes you happy, it’s a HAPPY marriage that makes you happy” -Daniel Gilbert, PhD

The Solution: How to Fight Boredom in Your Marriage

If you’ve found yourself feeling like marriage is a little “blah,” don’t panic. It’s completely normal to go through seasons where things feel routine. The key is to recognize when it’s happening and take action. Here are some ways to reignite excitement in your marriage:

1. Try Something New Together

Routine can be comforting, but it can also be a creativity killer in relationships. Shake things up by doing something neither of you has done before—take a cooking class, go indoor skydiving, start a new hobby together, or simply try a new restaurant. The novelty of experiencing something fresh can reignite excitement between you.

2. Prioritize Fun

Couples who have fun together tend to be happier together. Laugh more, be playful, and create lighthearted moments. Even small things—like having a game night, watching funny videos together, or reminiscing about past adventures —can break up the monotony.

3. Be Curious About Each Other Again

When dating, we ask countless questions and are eager to learn about each other. But as years go by, we assume we already know everything about our spouse. Break that pattern! Ask deeper questions, dream together, and engage in meaningful conversations that remind you why you fell in love in the first place.

4. Plan Regular Date Nights

Date nights aren’t just for new couples. Scheduling intentional time together (outside of daily responsibilities) keeps romance alive. And they don’t have to be fancy—whether it’s a night out or a cozy evening at home, what matters is that you’re spending focused time together.

5. Focus on Gratitude and Appreciation

Sometimes, marriage feels dull simply because we take each other for granted. Make an effort to express gratitude regularly. Leave sweet notes, send random texts of appreciation, or verbally acknowledge what you love about your spouse. And don’t forget…pray together!

Final Thoughts: Your Marriage Is What You Make It

The idea that marriage is inherently boring is a lie. Like any meaningful relationship, marriage takes intentional effort to remain exciting, fulfilling, and full of joy. If you’re feeling stuck in a rut, don’t assume marriage is the problem—start making small changes to infuse more fun and connection into your relationship.

Boredom doesn’t have to define your marriage. Choose adventure, choose laughter, and most importantly, choose each other—every single day.